Let’s talk about what I just got in the mail. Addressed to “Irene,” who has never lived here, ever. I know that because my aunt is my landlord, and I get to know stuff like the names of prior tenants.

$10 bill

Note reading “Enclosed are the items you gave to me and $10 to pay for the toast oven.”

A crystal.

A pack of those as seen on tv pants hem snaps things.

Two newspaper cutouts about loving your mom.

A container of “Yeast-Cleanse”, opened.

Your move, internet.